0
The rolling landscape hides a plethora of horse pasture, and corn and soybean fields often accessed by taking a shortcut on an errand. Elementary schools, and churches and small used car lots sit beside well-manicured and fine parks where kids play soccer and lacrosse games on Saturdays and Sundays. As I admire the smooth roads and marvel at this lifestyle I have a fascination with another species that lives sometimes just steps away from the two-legged variety.
Shy and often very elusive, White-Tail deer live on the edge habitat created by man's suburbs. The sunlight and available water sources and the cover provided by nearby wood-stands provide the perfect blend of food, shelter and safety. When I drive past a farm, my eye instantly scans for movement or that shadow where the brown (reddish in Summer/gray in winter) coat might be hiding.
I visualize slow stalks thru the dense wood stands behind shopping malls. How many times had I been hunting and bumped deer on the way to my stand? I bet I could sign on with a car insurance company to kill off bands of deer in the area with my crossbow. Yup. I'll quit my day job, slay deer for and donate the extra meat I can't eat to families on hard-times. I would get a perverse, instinctive THRILL from filling out the game harvest record online and getting the confirmation number from the State. Sanctioned serial killer. Stalk and kill the most elusive game in North America and win. A deer a day keeps the doctor (and hunger) away. That's my new slogan. I'd visit local churches on Sundays delivering the "Hunting Word"...I'd educate the congregation that the most dangerous animal in North America wasn't the Grizzly or the Mountain Lion, it is indeed Bambi and deer's fascination with playing beat the car. I'd educate them that the densely packed human population and thier many edge habitats were creating exploding deer populations. I'm thier "Natural" killer. Call me deerboy. I have a camoflauge cape. "When deer are near never fear for (insert my name) is here!" The kids would laugh and the hunters in the audience would come up afterwards and we'd chuckle and swap hunting lies. Hunters I've learned are surprisingly diverse. Young, Old, Fit, Fat, Man, Woman, Rich, Poor, Black, Red, Brown and White. Hunters and those who support hunters are everywhere and in places you wouldn't expect. "My dad used to take me hunting" one church gal said. "But after he passed away I kind of forgot all about it." I told the lady I'd be glad to take her hunting with myself and my wife. They could chat away and walk thru the woods while I come from the other direction with my bow. By the time we met in the middle I'd have seen 10 deer run by and hopefully killed one.
The lady piped up again. "Are you one of those trophy hunters?"
Sensing a setup I told her my simple preference (opinion). I said "I really really really like BIG beautiful deer and how some deer's antlers look, but I ain't picky. Here where we live I'll put an arrow thru the lungs as quick as I can get it in range".
I gave her my home number and told her my wife's name. I made a mental note to tell my wife about her.
I left the church, fired up the engine on my brand new Prius, and began pulling out of the parking lot. The young lady was flagging me down. She ran over a little out of breath and told me "Your cape deerboy. You shut your cape in the door and it was dragging on the ground". I opened the door, her perfume wafting inside the car. She helped me tuck my camo cape inside the car.
Before shutting the door I said "Call my wife, you guys can come hunt with me". I shut the door gently. My deerboy instincts were tingling. Focus deerboy, focus on your crusade to manage this deer herd and feed the hungry.
I waved and drove away. When I stole a look back she was still watching. Perhaps I could help add two more female hunters to the deer hunt woods. I pressed the pedal to the floor and super-zoomed home on Electric Gas Power.
Edited by deerboy, 24 April 2011 - 08:46 AM.
